Stop Pleading, Start Leading

Successfully Turn High-Cost Employee Conflict into Collaboration and Profitability


Unresolved conflict results in strife, unrest, gossip, backbiting, excessive use of sick-time, and much dreaded passive-aggressive behaviours. If these behaviours are showing up in your workplace, you likely have a workplace that is in for a long, rough road. In fact, you could have an epidemic on your hands unless you know what to do about it.

Stop Pleading, Start Leading is designed to empower managers who may be looking for better ways to handle workplace conflict. We start by identifying the source of your workplace conflict, and then provide simple, reliable and enlightening tools to manage it.

If your goal is to confidently lead employees toward more productive work behaviours, this is a good choice for you. Managers will learn and use proven conflict resolution techniques in this hands-on workshop.

Upgrade your conflict facilitation skills to shift the conflict in your workplace and work teams. Conflict can be healthy when you know how to resolve it. Get your workplace back to collaboration and productivity today.


  • Learn and take home a ready to deliver “Stop Gossip and Backbiting” workshop for your staff.
  • Ready to use conflict management plug-and-play templates.


Pamela Cournoyer uses a “Coach” Training Style which:

  • Creates a learning environment that is comfortable yet challenging
  • Trains for “active” learners who learn best by doing
  • Encourages meaningful self-evaluation
  • Continual facilitated activities and discussions
  • Activities, projects, and problems based on real work situations
  • Encourages active participation

Learning Objectives

Upon completion of this workshop, participants should be able to:

  • Identify the type of conflict they or their staff member may be experiencing.
  • Recognise their own mode of conflict and determine whether it is appropriate for the current conflict and know how to change that mode to be more affective.
  • Determine if a conflict is negotiable and how to negotiate through it.
  • Demonstrate an understanding of how to deliver a Manage Gossip in Your Workplace – workshop.
  • Practice individual and team interventions with other managers who want to learn right along with them.
  • Gain coaching in a safe setting, fully supported in resolving conflict through enhanced communication tools in their workplace.

Programme Outline

Topics to be covered include:


Identifying Conflict; styles, modes, outcomes and patterns.

  • Recognise the High-Noon mentality and how this has been our most common problem solving mode; yet it seldom, if ever, works.
  • Easily identify and categorise the 3 most common conflict types, this alone will change your entire approach to conflict.
  • Learn and apply the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, which shows you 5 modes people use to address any conflict and how effective each is for which conflict.
  • Discern your own personal conflict mode and see the benefit in all modes.
  • Identify dispute outcomes, what they are and how to move toward the most beneficial outcome.
  • Receive coaching through a mock intervention to recognise all of the above.

Peeling Back The Onion; expertly identify and manage the layers of conflict

  • Learn what values get crossed and what to do about it
  • How to recognise a right vs right conflict, vs. a right vs. wrong conflict
  • Identify the six pillars and how they contribute to conflict
  • Digging deep, identify the interests from the positions – this may sound like a lot of work, but you’ll get it easily!
  • Determine what outcomes are most likely from the way the conflict is going.  What can you do to shift an impasse or an obvious win-lose to a win-win?


Bonus: Managing Yourself And Others in the Midst of Gossip and Backbiting
The unique differences we celebrate about ourselves actually create a natural conflict with others in our life and work. Conflict unresolved and unaddressed spills over into gossip. Conflict itself is not the problem, but rather how we deal with it. When it turns into gossip, we are clearly not managing it well.
The good news is that effective gossip management strategies can be learned and mastered in every workplace. In this workshop, we will learn strategies staff can instantly apply to dramatically reduce workplace gossip and backbiting.
Our initial focus will be to gain insight and understanding around why we gossip. Then we will formulate agreements and strategies that will enable us to better manage such unproductive and self-defeating behaviors.

Designed to lead to practical gossip management strategies.

  • Attendees will note their own responses to conflict and focus on one or two items they would like to see change within themselves.
  • Learn why we get frustrated and how to turn frustration into appreciative inquiry.
  • Awareness of emotional intelligence; what that means at work and how to use it.
  • Reminders of how we focus and communicate and how to not let it get to you.
  • Surface ways to recover from imposed external stressors (other people).

Hero, Victim, Persecutor?  What role are you playing and how do you stop the roller coaster?

  • Introduction of Karpman’s Drama Triangle; the three habitual psychological roles that people take in a conflict.
  • Learn how the players move around the triangle, and switch roles.
  • Unique insights into managing the differing roles and how to stay out of them for good.

Activate Entire Groups Through This Little Used Listening Skill;
Practice the most important conflict abating listening style in the workplace today. This skill is instantly applicable for use with individuals and groups.

  • Experience a process that will enable you to successfully work with any button-pusher or frustration on your team.
  • Learn an amazing listening model that gets powerful results every time you use it.
  • Really get to the core of the acting out employees; release tension and allow unsettled employees to move on.
  • Open your people up, improve mutual understanding, and dissipate conflict.

Individual Employee and Team Interventions

  • Work with two plug and play forms that will flawlessly guide you through group or individual interventions.
  • Gain insights on the best ways to explore available options for resolution and tactfully eliminate unavailable options.
  • Combine the tools you used in these group activated role-plays
  • Expert conflict coaching during the entire process.
  • Conflict Action Planning Form
  • Intervention worksheet

Facilitator's Bio-Sketch: Dr. Kamla Mungal

Pamela Cournoyer, founder of Communicate with CLASS, “caught” how to be highly effective in working with groups who are not the happiest campers in the world. Her understanding and grasp of the natural nuances of discord in the workplace, coupled with her extensive 20+‐year background as a Professional Trainer, Coach and Facilitator, are the perfect combination. As holder of five national Master Trainer-of-Trainer certifications, Pamela dazzles onstage. Her presentation style is dynamic and engaging; her honesty strikes to your very core. Prepare to laugh and learn!


  • Law Enforcement Agencies – (National and International) Oregon State Police, Kosovo Department of Public Safety, Oregon Department of Public Safety, Standards, and Training, Western Community Policing Institute, Eugene Police Department,
  • Government Agencies – US Department of Justice, International Criminal Investigative Assistance Training Program, Lane County Government – HR department, Oregon Dept of Human Services, Lane Transit District
  • Non-Profits – United Way’s, Independent Living Centers, Wellness Centers, Churches, Theaters
  • Corporate – Assisted Living Centers, Microsoft Affiliates, Project Management firms, Nike
  • Small Business - Entrepreneurs from all walks of life
  • Project Managers – Oregon PMI conference 4 consecutive years, Florida PMI conference
  • Education – Lane Community College, Pioneer Pacific College, University of Oregon – multiple divisions


Date View Event Calendar October 30-th - 31st, 2014
Time 8:30 pm – 4:30 pm
Duration 1 Day
Cost TT $5,000.00 per participant, inclusive of all training materials, lunch, refreshments and certificate
Venue Arthur Lok Jack Graduate School of Business
Max Richards Drive,
Uriah Butler Highway, North West,
Mt. Hope


Tel: 645-6700
Fax: 662-1411


Brent Cassim ext. 330
Umesh Sookoo ext. 367



Certificates will only be issued to participants who have attained a minimum attendance rate of 75% for the duration of the course.

Course Cancellation/ Reschedule Policy

Arthur Lok Jack GSB (ALJGSB) reserves the right to cancel training at any time. If ALJGSB cancels the training due to unforeseen circumstances beyond the control of ALJGSB, you are entitled to a full refund of the course fee, or your course fee can be credited toward a future training, based upon availability (providing payments have been made before original advertised date).

ALJGSB reserves the right to reschedule training at any time. If ALJGSB reschedules training due to unforeseen circumstances beyond the control of ALJGSB, the training will take place at the next available time. Participants will be informed via phone and/or e-mails.



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